Tooting My Own Horn

Let me set the stage for you.

I was feeling ravenous from all those crazy Insanity workouts.  The kids were in bed, so I could eat whatever I chose without having to hide in a dark closet somewhere for fear of sharing.  (Don't act like you haven't learned to open candy wrappers with nary a crinkle.)  There were even full-sized Hershey bars sitting in the freezer (had to replenish the previously depleted supply). 

I chose salad.  And it was good.

Fer realz, yo.  Dead serious.  I couldn't get enough of those dark leafy greens, those crunchy organic carrots and red bell peppers, coated ever-so-lightly with Wegmans Traditional Italian dressing.  Just typing this, I swear to the gods of all that is fit, my mouth is watering.  For a freakin' salad.  And not a taco salad or a bowl of greens topped with ranch dressing and fried chicken strips.  Just a bowlful of that organic spring mix and various veggies chopped into bitesize pieces.  The cool crispness of it, the simple flavors!  How did this become more appealing than (dare I say it?!?) chocolate cake????

I have not a freakin' clue.  I just don't know.  The switch flipped AGAIN.  How many switches can one FitGal possibly have?  First the workout switch.  Then the Shakeology switch and the vegetarian switch and the nonalcoholic switch.  Now a salad-over-junk-food switch???  Sometimes, I just have to shake my head in wonderment at how far I've come and how much my awesomeness increases every day.

I was just describing this very scenario in a message with a friend who is on her own fitness journey.  She was, in her own words, "tooting her own horn" but then almost apologizing for doing so, perhaps, I believe, worried I may find her boastful.  Um...hello?  I reminded her that she was indeed speaking the Master Tooter, the Queen of Tooting, the Tooter of all Tooters...and so no need to backtrack on her own toots.

And yes, I found the irony and the humor in the language used, which is why you're reading about it now.  I get it.  Toot = fart.  And because I possess the humor level of a six-year-old, that is freakin' hysterical.  Especially because I have cleared rooms lately with all the veggie intake.  My apologies are extended if I don't get a handle on all these new gastrointestinal shenanigans before I see you out in public...but hey, it's just the result of some good ol' fashioned healthy eatin'!  Join me!  The old song is true: the more ya toot, the better ya feel.  It's my mantra for the time being anyway.

And it's bound to get worse, because I gotta add in some more beans to make up for the protein I'm not getting from meat.  I'm back on dairy for now, until I sit down and research that part too.  Mainly because I just feel better when I don't eat dairy, but right now, it's a convenient source of protein for me.  But the beans are still necessary, and I really do love 'em.  They fill me up, give me energy, and - most importantly - they're quite delicious...and good for your heart...*snort*chuckle*snort*

So I ain't ashamed to toot my horn.  Which is good, because sometimes, I just can't help myself, no matter how hard I may try.  Consider this fair warning: meet me outdoors and stand downwind until my body adapts to the new diet.  It'll adapt, just like my tastebuds adapted.  Till then, I'll consider it a trumpet of triumph over my previous malnourished ways.

The Big Piece of the Pie

Two of the four in one big ass sammich

I like food.  I like food ALOT.  I have never been a girl to say, "Oh, I forgot to eat" or "I just didn't have time to eat today."  Because in my world, that cannot happen.  Hubby and the monkeys will attest to the fact that Hungry Mommy is the siamese twin of Cranky Mommy (aka SpongeMom Angrypants).  And not so long ago, I ate what I craved.  And what I craved typically involved the four food groups: bacon, peanut butter, chocolate, and/or cheese.  My best meals combined these four pillars of nutrition in myriad ways, one of the all-time favorites being PB&B sandwiches (peanut butter & bacon, of course).  So why, then, was I so totally mystified that working out was not giving me all the muscle definition I so desired?  I was one of THEM.  One of those who wants so badly for something to be true that I simply decide it is true and continue about my business. 

What changed?  I can't pinpoint the exact WHY or WHEN of the changing, but recently (within the past few months) something just clicked.  Like the Gods of Nutrition flipped the switch in my brain from "Junkie" to "Health Nut."  Suddenly, eating properly and fueling my body instead of gorging and putting my body to sleep seemed, well...easy.  Or at least, relatively so.

Fish with Flava - ala Shaun T

Because I do nosh from time to time.  I slip.  I chow.  I nibble at the cheese plate.  But this is what I find: even when I fall off the wagon, I don't fall far.  That nibble sates me and I'm back to clean eating.  Or what I prefer to call (mostly) clean eating.  Because I am, in fact, human.  I sometimes enjoy a splurge in the calories...It's just that it is no longer a daily occurrence.  The results I want, the body I want...It isn't going to just arrive in the mail with my next Beachbody purchase.  I have to work just as hard at fueling it as I do training it.

And that's the other motivator - the training.  All that time and effort I'm expending is pretty precious to me.  Why trash it all with a poor fueling system?  Because that's really what food is for - fueling our bodies.  It's enjoyable fuel, but fuel nonetheless.  Nutella is not going to power my marathon training (yep, I'm scheduling the next already).  Taco pizza will not give me that extra edge to push through my Spartan Race.  I choose instead a diet of Shakeology, fresh veggies and fruits, and lean meats.  I drink water like it's...well, water.  I am eliminating soda and refined sugars.  I am gradually going organic and gluten free.  When I shop, I shop the perimeters of the grocery store because that's where they keep the good stuff. 

Healthy cranberry scones

And that word I just used..."diet."  I typically dislike that word.  I do not approve of the connotations that it carries, the ideas of restriction and temporariness.  Because eating correctly is not about restriction and it should never be temporary.  This is a lifestyle - and a rewarding one at that.  I feel better, I look better...In fact, I look better now than I did in my teens and 20's (I just have more laugh lines, but laughter suits me).  I am fitter than I have ever been and I just keep getting better.  My awesomeness levels are higher every day...I simply cannot help myself.  Which means, you know...you can do the same thing.  You can actually DO IT instead of just TALKING ABOUT DOING IT. 

As a parent, I feel it's my job to show by example.  Unfortunately, they've had seven or so years of bacon lust as an example, so we're learning together.  They are surprisingly receptive to fresh fruit, learning to accept the vegetables, and thoroughly enjoying the lean meats.  Treats are treats and they are not every day.  We don't keep soda or sugar drinks in our house and even school snacks have gone organic (we made the switch from Oreos to Newman-Oh's and Goldfish to Cheddar Bunnies without a single complaint).  So again, it's doable.  There's no excuse of "my kids just won't eat that."  When ours do whine about yet another healthy dinner (and it happens because they're KIDS), I allow that they can choose dinner entrees, too...when they get a job, do the shopping, and learn to cook.  Until then, we eat what I cook (or, to be honest, what Hubby cooks.  And he cooks what I plan and buy). 

My daily breakfast

My whole point today is this: if I can put down the Thin Mints, the Diet Cokes, and the Funyuns...anyone can.  It's less about willpower and more about a singular decision: do you want to continue wishing for health and fitness, or do you actually want to have it? 

Legend...Hold the Dairy...

I talk a LOT about the exercise side of fitness.  It's my love, my passion, my addiction.  And yes, it gets me results.  It makes me stronger, faster, leaner...more irresistible.  Plus, it's fun.  I get to kick, punch, run, dance...and I typically only have to do so for one to two hours a day.  Which, I feel, is pretty easy.  The nutrition side of fitness...that side which glowers upon regular chocolate cake consumption and does not condone a daily intake of Funyuns...that is not so fun.  And, until recently, it was not even remotely easy for me.  Good thing I like challenges and being told it can't be done.

I was never what anyone would label "a healthy eater."  I was more likely to fall under the category of "eternal grazer" or "garbage disposal."  I ate massive amounts of food in single sittings with constant snacking energizing me between meals.  And I ate things like Weis dessert bowls (frequently enough that my coworkers began calling them "Jen Bowls"); king size Snickers bars; 20-piece McNuggets with three different sauces so my delicate pallette would not get bored.  We frequented the diner down the street so often that we had our own booth and the waitresses knew our "usuals." 

Then I started TurboFire and started dropping pounds and inches.  I was, to put it mildly, quite pleased.  I continued to drop when I picked up running, and I started gaining muscle when I began using ChaLEAN Extreme.  But that mid-section still looked suspiciously poochy, as though it might be carrying something.  And it was.  It was carrying Big Macs, taco pizza, everything fries, and too many desserts to name (but all containing chocolate).  I took a moment to be frustrated, to feel depressed, to pout and whine and stomp my feet regarding the unfairness of it all.  Then I turned to my favorite place for change: Beachbody. 

I wanted more results and I wanted them faster.  I ordered HipHop Abs, E&E Formula, and my first round of Shakeology.  I signed up for my personalized meal plan and started using myfitnesspal again.  I returned to Body Confidence by Mark McDonald. Things began happening. 

First, I fell in lust with Shaun T and in love with E&E.  Then I made a lifelong commitment to Shakeology, which led to a lifelong commitment to (mostly) clean eating.  Because here's the thing: I have that shake in the morning, and I find it ridiculously easy to maintain healthy eating for the remainder of the day.  My body gets what it needs, so minimal (if any) cravings follow.  For a girl that used to hide candy bars in the freezer so my kids wouldn't get them, who used to stock an entire file drawer at my desk with snacks ranging from funsize chocolate bars to entire boxes of cereal...that's kind of a big deal. 

Now here came the most kickass part of all the kickass-edness (yes, it's a word!): I had ab muscles under that pooch! And a waistline!  For the first time since junior high, I saw flat abs in my future.  I don't even have to flex.  They just pop out.  It's like every day, I'm more awesome.  It's hard to believe, right?  How does one so awesome continually find more room for awesome?  Barney Stinson ain't got nothin' on this girl.  Legend...

Speaking of dairy...Yeah.  I don't do that anymore, either.  At least, the occasions are few and far between.  I originally cut it out as part of the Body Confidence jump start plan, but found that not only did I not miss it, I felt better overall.  And after being dairy free for a few weeks, when I had a small glass of milk...Let's just say, things weren't the same between me and the white stuff anymore.  Which just makes decisions that much easier still.  Again with the awesome.

And again, my point behind all this rambling is THIS: if I, the bacon-loving, chocolate-cake-shoveling, fried-cheese-inhaling garbage disposal and former champion of all encased meats, can not only change my diet and garner control over my eating but am actually SATISFIED with my current intake...then so can you.  I don't wanna hear crap about healthy foods being too expensive.  I don't wanna hear "but my kids won't eat that."  I especially don't wanna hear "but that's too difficult."  I will slap that french fry right outta your mouth. 

Fact: eating right will extend your life.  It will extend your children's lives.  Less sickness equals less prescriptions and less trips to the doctor.  Fact: your kids will eat what you provide.  You're the parent and you make the rules.  When my children complain, I make them this deal: get a job, do the shopping, prepare the meals.  Then we can have cheeseburgers and potato chips every night.  Guess what?  We're still eating organic veggies and grilled fish or chicken.  Fact: the more you do it, the easier it gets.  The only difficult part is the first two or three weeks.  Once those devil toxins are cast from your body, you will crave things like cantaloupe and mixed greens and water.  And then I won't have to keep slapping you.  Which is nice for both of us.

And now that I have finished my Dwight Shrute-like diatribe, I'm going to go sip my green tea, read a little Mama Llama with the babe before he naps...and then I'm gonna rip into HIIT 15 and some ab work.  Because Shakeology gave me the energy to do so.

Just Your Typical Prototype

There comes a point in every distance run when I get emotional.  (I know some are surprised by this, but yes...even I have actual emotions.)  I never know exactly when it's going to happen and most times, I forget it's going to until it does.  And there it is - that little lump in my throat, moisture in my eyes (it doesn't sting, so I know it's more than sweat), a tightness in my chest (that is not from shortness of breath - I am a freakin' cardio queen now).  Part of it is simply the release that running brings me, a clarity of mind and simple joy in BEING.  When I take a step back and think on it, I could probably pinpoint when it will happen.  Any time during my second hour.  At a point along my route when I am more surrounded by nature and less by traffic.  When a really great song opens up on my ipod.  It may happen at different points and on different routes, but the feeling is always the same.  It is not only a gut reaction to my surroundings or the physicality of the moment.  It is the same feeling I get when I watch my daughter execute a perfect bar routine; when my son runs the football; when the babe has a new word to use every day.  It's pride.  Just this time, it's in myself.

That's right.  Proud of ME.  A year ago, I had not yet decided to run that half marathon.  I was in the midst of my first round of TurboFire and eating at the diner down the street three to four times a week.  I did not view myself as an athlete and my only concern was working my way from a size 10 to a size 8 and shedding the remaining baby weight.  Seriously - LOOK AT ME NOW.  I have no doubts about running that full marathon in two weeks.  My legs are itchin' for it.  I run because I LOVE it.  I add weighted gloves to every TurboFire workout and I lift with P90X.  I worked out live with Shaun T.  I drink Shakeology every single day and am going organic.  When I eat at the diner, I order things broiled, fresh, and healthy.  It all came down to a single decision.  Did I want to enjoy my life or regret it?

I've been called obsessed, told it's just a phase, that I've lost too much weight.  People feel they have the right to judge my lifestyle, I suppose, because I am so public about it.  Guess what?  I'm open with my choices because I want everyone to share them.  I actually want others to experience the fabulousness I have found.  And there is NO REASON that can't happen.  I am the same as you.  There is nothing in me that you cannot find within yourself.

I will not judge you for your shape, your weight, your size, your ability.  I will judge you for your inactivity and your conscious decisions to live an unhealthy life. I will judge you for clinging to a lifestyle that will shorten your time with those you love. When you run out of breath walking up the stairs or playing with your children - it's time to change things.  Stop telling me to "eat a cheeseburger" or that "big is beautiful."  You can love yourself as you are - but you need to love yourself enough to change. 

Your first step is simply making a commitment.  Walk.  Stretch.  Drink more water.  You don't have to jump into the deep end of the pool.  Not everyone has to run marathons or participate in obstacle races.  But everyone does need to fuel their bodies and shake them out now and again.  This isn't a debate anymore.  It isn't about discrimination.  It's about HEALTH.  It's about YOUR LIFE.  Who wants to live it on the sidelines?  And how do you want your children to grow up?

Obesity is on the rise.  We all know it.  We all see it.  Some of us are doing something about it.  I don't only want to make myself fit.  I want my family to be fit.  I want my friends to be fit.  I want friends of friends to be fit.  I didn't sign on to be a Beachbody coach just to get discounts or just to make a profit.  I did it because these programs opened my eyes to a whole new world of possiblities and fitness levels I never imagined I could reach.  In less than a year, I became an athlete.  I no longer dabble in fitness; it is now what I do and who I am.  And it is my goal to make that happen for you, too.  If you're reading this now, you've thought about it.  Maybe you've already made that change.  Maybe now you're feeling defensive because I've called you out.  I don't care.  What I do care about is that you get off your ass and stop making excuses. 

We aren't so different, you and I.  I used to make excuses for the food I ate and how I spent my time.  And then one day, I just had enough.  I was done being weak.  I was done with losing my breath, watching my kids play instead of playing with them, telling my kids to do their best while I did nothing. 

When your day comes, and you're ready to make that step, be sure to let me know.  You've never had a bigger or more relentless cheerleader than this gal right here.  I will annoy the living piss out of you when you try to explain why you're backsliding.  I will get in your face and refuse to accept whatever lameass excuse you're offering. 

You can thank me a year from now.

The Photographic Evidence

It's a quick one tonight, folks.  I had a day full of fevers, vomit, and gymnastics (although the last one was blissful, as I finally got to sit and watch my Bear flip and tumble whilst perusing the latest from Runner's World) and it is off to Skinny Girl Margarita-ville I go.

Anyway - I pledged to at the very least share my meals/snacks/etc from here on out, and so I felt obligated to stop by and do just that.  I have already been a sometimes faithful user of myfitnesspal (and I highly recommend it to anyone trying to lose or gain weight - it's free and it works.  What more can you ask for?).  This week, I was particularly faithful and have eased myself back into a normal eating plan vs. the good-all-day-gorge-at-night plan I had been following in recent weeks.  I alternated that with the it's-a-special-occasion-because-it's-Bear's-birthday/we're-out-to-eat/I-just-freakin'-feel-like-it-OK?!? diet...but that one, believe it or not, did not get me the results I was after either.  So it's back to basics, as it should always be, and I have given myself the added accountability of taking photos of each morsel consumed (pre-consumption, of course) and sharing the resulting photographs with all of you.  On the edge of your seat yet? Drumming fingers anxiously on your computer desk?  Well, stop it.  That's annoying.  (I won't care in a few moments, as I mentioned previously that my good girl liquor awaits).



Is it everything you dreamed it would be?

So there it is.  Ta-DAAA!  That's my daily breakfast, although the yogurt is typically substituted with a form of fruit.  I am weaning myself off of Nutella, but that shit is made out of crack.  The peanut butter crackers - from a vending machine after gymnastics.  I was starving and about to be Sponge Mom Angry Pants if I didn't get something in my belly.  Hubby outdid himself once again, mixing leftovers with cupboard leavin's (you know those packages of stuff that you never recall buying and never seem to get used?), so we had pasta with chicken and sauce for dinner.  Perfect on a chilly and rainy day.  Lunch - I did that myself!  I used fridge leavin's (leftovers and previously cut veggies and/or fruits so I only have to put forth minimal effort) and concocted a pretty bangin' salad for myself.  And...at long last...thank you, Bethenny Frankel, for the gift of Skinny Girl.  Tastey and low-cal enough that I feel no guilt over two servings (certainly not after two servings, as I have become a total lightweight in this arena). 

There you have it.  Not every day will be this detailed (I will be back to my random rants/ravings/blatherings as of tomorrow), but if you're truly curious about what I'm ingesting, friend me on myfitnesspal.  My username is Miller343 and my diary is public.  And hey, I can use all the eyeballin' I can get to keep me on track and eating like the athlete I picture myself to be.

Hoppin' Down the Candy Trail

It happens every holiday, be they big or small.  Sacks, baskets, buckets o' sugar are heaped upon the children (and by proxy me, whose willpower shrinks in fear in the face of anything chocolate covered or filled) to "celebrate."  No sooner has the Halloween candy disappeared (some into the overjoyed bellies and more into the trash) than we have candy canes and Christmas cookies filling our countertops.  There are the itty bitty candied hearts on Valentine's day (along with the larger chocolates...*sigh* and *cringe*) and gold foil-covered chocolate coins on St. Patrick's Day.  And then Easter.  Baskets overflowing with Reese's, Skittles, and those frighteningly neon Peeps.  A basket at home from the Bunny himself.  And baskets at each house visited, plus candy in the pretty plastic eggs planted in bushes and drainpipes.  My stomach heaves a little just looking at the mountains of peanut butter-filled, chocolate-covered, candy-coated poison.  Of course, that doesn't prohibit my greedy little hands from reaching out to sneak my fair share.

And it's not just the candy.  Nor is the candy the worst of it.  At least for me, those holiday meals suck me in worse than any sweet nosh.  The juicy ham, lumpy mashed potatoes, and homemade gravy.  The buttered corn and buttered biscuits and buttered anything-else-my-butter-knife-can-find.  The pies, cakes, and desserts of the no-bake variety with whipped cream and pudding-like substances!  I cannot stop myself.  It is as though my body moves of its own accord, racing away from all that hard work and discipline to shovel in mounds of starches, salts, and bad fats.  I suppose it is like any addiction...You can kick the habit, but one slip up and you're barrelling down the mountain at full speed.  Luckily, I am better at putting on the brakes and getting back on track than I used to be.  It just tends to happen one to two days later, after the initial food hangover has left and the second one has been worked through.  That old saying about "the hair of the dog?"  That, my friends, is CRAP. 

Who wants to roll around in bed all day, clutching aching bellies and moaning when you could be jumping, moving, and enjoying the just-as-tasty and so-much-better-for-you fruits and veggies?  We tell ourselves that the candy/ham/potatoes are a reward and that we deserve them.  I don't know about you, but feeling nauseous and exhausted doesn't seem so rewarding to me.  And I firmly believe that I (and my body that has been treating me so well) deserve much better.  Of course, this realization hit me after I ate my weight in biscuits and cracker candy, only to follow it up the next day with peanut butter cups and Twizzlers.  Turns out, healthy living has ruined binge eating for me.  I may as well have willfully given myself the flu.  I felt that awful.

Then I thought, I'm giving this stuff to my kids.  Awful, awful Mommy!  I wouldn't hand my kids cartons of cigarettes or cases of beer.  So why do I load baskets full of other toxins as a celebratory gift?  Well, I won't be anymore.  I laid down the law and told Hubby that from here on out, that Bunny brings gifts, not candy.  And we bring healthy fruit and veggie trays to graze on when we go elsewhere for dinners.  No more binging.  No more days of recovery for falling off the wagon. 

...I just hope I retain this feeling of superiority over Hershey and Mars when I next stare down their progeny during a moment of craving...

Economics, Fitness, and Healthy Diets: Why Can't We All Just Get Along???

I honestly enjoy the shopping part of grocery shopping.  I adore Wegmans with my whole healthy heart.  The gorgeous produce, the seemingly endless supply of organic and tastey options, the calm shoppers (there are certain superstores I am frightened to venture into).  I get excited to choose healthy meals and snacks for my family...and I cringe every time I come face to face with our total bill.  I've gotta admit, sometimes the produce does not look so gorgeous when I see its price tag.

But - I am also aware that eating this way will curb other costs.  We are happier when we eat well; we feel better when we eat well.  Less doctor's visits, less OTC medications, less restaurant tabs (and that is a biggie for a family of six).  I nearly choked when I first saw the price of Shakeology.  Then I realized, that's a meal a day for 30 days.  Four bucks a day.  Cut out Starbucks, cut out snacks filled with preservatives and unpronouncable ingredients...there's your four bucks.  Now, add in the value of increased energy, improved bodily function, and controlled cravings...I don't feel sticker shock now.  I feel like I made a wise and healthful choice for my body.  (And tastey!!! Refer to my earlier post...)

So, once my spending is vindicated, I need menus! I need recipes! I need children to eat what I make! The first two are easy...

I consider myself a hunter and gatherer of recipes, pulling from Making The Cut by Jillian Michaels, magazines (Fitness, Shape, and Runner's World are great resources), Push by Chalene Johnson, and Thin Kitchen Beachbody.  Sometimes, I'll just take an entire week's menu straight from a diet plan; sometimes I mix and match.  Starting tomorrow, I am following Shaun T's six-day slimdown in order to get myself geared up for his class next Saturday.  I will modify meals somewhat for the rest of the family...but they're still getting mostly organic and fully fit meals, whether they like it or not.

Which brings me to my third "need."  Kids learn from us, whether we like it or not.  The choices we provide them now are the habits they'll use later.  So while they would love for me to shove platefuls of processed chicken parts in front of them every night, they are also learning to get excited about fish, fresh veggies, and seasonal fruits.  Everyone must try at least one bite of everything, every meal, every day.  I was surprised to find that even our finickiest eater can appreciate most of what we serve.

And for those in-between times, we keep a "snack basket" as a go-to in the kitchen.  As soon as I get home from shopping, I separate all snacks into single-serving bags.  The same goes for anything I make (I actually MAKE STUFF now! In an oven and everything! Who knew?!) When they require a little nosh, they can grab whatever they like from the basket, and I know they're getting something nourishing for their little bodies.  I've also started (finally!) keeping a bowl of fresh fruit on the kitchen table.  Right where we can see it.  And guess what? No more rotten fruit in drawers in the fridge.  It all gets eaten.


What are your sneaky tricks? SHARE! And if you've found a great farmer's market or cheaper brand that tastes just like a brand name, SHARE! Our M&M Clan has come a long way in the food department, but I like knowing that things are just getting started...