Spartan Eve

'Twas the day before the Spartan,
And all through the Estate
Not a muscle was straining
And only lean foods I ate.

My stomach was jumping
But my legs they stayed still
In the hopes that we'd make it
Up the steepsteepsteep hill.

What have I done?
My alarmed brain, it cried,
So certain was it
That we would get fried.

Gloves or no gloves?
Tank or no tank?
Does it even matter?
My stomach...it sank.

And then I remembered -
I am MILLER, Queen of All!
I am a strong-ass bitch
And I NEVER fall!

Spartan? Pshaw!
I raised a werewolf, a bear!
And I work out each day -
These guns are a pair!

So at the finish line I'll wait
While others slip and they slide.
This is just more event
In which I'll take pride!